Chapter 1: Personality Psychology

Psychoanalytic Approach

Every human being has certain patterns in thinking, feeling, and acting. These patterns represent everyone's personality and provide the basis for that person's interaction with other people. In everyday life, there are people who are called aggressive, happy, sad, etc. Therefore, the study of personality helps in different areas of human behavior because personality is the true inner nature of a person. The unique impact a person has on others is equally important in understanding personality. However, the concept of personality has been defined by psychologists in different ways, and it is the theoretical perspective or position that directs our attention to certain aspects of personality. Personality is not fixed but dynamic, and it determines the type and degree of adaptation of a person to his environment, and this pattern of adaptation is unique. Personality is a more or less stable pattern, the degree of stability of which determines a person's compatibility with his environment. Personality usually refers to distinct behavioral patterns (including thoughts and feelings) that determine each person's adaptability to their life situations. Conscious, unconscious factors, determinism, freedom in performance, the role of early experience, the role of genetic factors, uniqueness, universality, etc., will be influential in drawing a person's personality. The human personality emerges due to the conflict between the aggressive and pleasure-seeking biological motives of the individual and the internal social restrictions against them. That is, personality is created in an effort to resolve conflicts. Human personality can be formed based on three paths:

• The unconscious and irrational path that is immune to the morality and demands of the outside world, and it works based on the principle of pleasure and seeks immediate satisfaction and conclusions.
• A conscious path that is involved with the functioning of the real world and operates based on the principle of reality and logic and regulates thoughts and behaviors, and also teaches a person to balance the demands of the outside world and the needs of the person.
• The path of internal representation of family (parents) and community values acts as the voice of conscience, which forces a person to consider ideal behavior as well, and failure to observe moral values causes shame, guilt, and anxiety in a person.

Also, from the age of three, boys compete with their siblings and fathers for their mother's attention. Boys at this stage become very dependent on their mother and may resent their father's presence. These feelings cause anxiety or fear of their father's punishment, and to protect themselves from this anxiety, boys identify with their fathers. There is a reverse feeling for female children, and they will have a strong sense of dependence on their father. At the age of 6 to 12, the desire for activities such as sports, learning, and social activities will begin. At the end of 12 years, sexual desire towards the opposite sex will be very high. This stage of life is very sensitive for a teenager and will require training and care (without coercion) so that the person begins to develop positive relationships with others. If at some stage in life, a problem does not have a realistic solution or compromise, then the person uses denial or distortion of reality as a defense mechanism to avoid understanding reality and causing anxiety. Most anxieties are not consciously experienced but are controlled by defense mechanisms. Of course, excessive use of the defense mechanism may cause disturbances in thought processes and daily functioning. A mature and healthy person has the strength of the ego to reduce and balance the conflict, disturbance in thought processes, and daily performance, but when the ego experiences a lot of conflict, it will become weak. This creates rigid behavior patterns (psychotic resentment), and if adaptive functioning ceases, psychosis will develop. The defense mechanisms of a human are different stages such as suppression (refusal to recognize an inner reality or source of anxiety, pushing the unacceptable identity impulses to the unconscious and stripping them of their power to cause conscious disturbance to the individual), Denial (refusal to acknowledge the external source of anxiety), Projection (suppressing unacceptable impulses and then attributing them to others), Displacement (transferring feelings, changing the target of feeling and repressing feelings due to fear of showing or experiencing certain feelings against the person who provoked them and then transferring them to a safer body and releasing it) and rationalization (behavior that is justifiable, stable and worthy of self and community approval). A person who participates in the formation of the reaction suppresses the feelings that cause anxiety and then displays his personality in opposition to it, or may suddenly, his aggressive behavior give way to a more acceptable behavior, and not to deal with his anxiety, he simply leaves the scene of the conflict and goes back to the stage of apparent silence or peace. In order to create a dynamic personality, a balance must be established regarding the development and regression of psychic energy. That is, to achieve self-awareness, people must adapt to their external and internal worlds. Humans are motivated both through past experiences and through their expectations of the future. Also, extroverts are more influenced by their subjective perception of the real world, while introverts rely on their individual view of things. Introverts and extroverts often mistrust each other and do not understand each other correctly. Human personality types are based on four approaches of thinking or recognizing the meaning of stimuli, feeling or placing a value on something, sensation or taking in sensory stimuli and intuition or perceiving elementary data that is beyond the individual's awareness, from are separated. In order to discover the hidden complexes in the subconscious of the injured person (spiritually), a method can be used in which the person is asked to say whatever comes to mind after being shown a picture or reading a word by the examiner. reaches to express. Unusual answers indicate a complex dream analysis and can be used to explain past events and make decisions about the future. Of course, the age of the audience is influential in these methods, and these two methods should be used based on the person's age. The best dynamic force in a person is to strive for success or excellence, and having a goal during the effort unites the components of a person's personality and makes all his behaviors meaningful. A person's effort can be considered in two ways: personal benefit (superiority) or social benefit (success):

• Striving for personal success: Psychologically unhealthy people strive for personal excellence (with little concern for other people). Although they appear to be interested in other people, their main motivation is self-interest.
• Striving for social success: Mentally healthy people strive for the success of all humanity and do this without losing their personal identity.

People's mental view of the world shapes their behavior, and stories are people's expectations of the future; sometimes, people act as if these stories are true. Of course, conscious and unconscious processes unite and act to achieve a single goal. Human behavior is so valuable that it is motivated by social interest (that is, a sense of oneness with all of humanity). Of course, social interest as an innate behavior exists in all people, but it must be properly cultivated in a social environment. The way a person strives in life creates a specific lifestyle for them, and of course, healthy people are characterized by flexible behavior. Lifestyle is partly a product of heredity and environment, but ultimately, lifestyle is formed through the creative power of people (skill in free choice). The most important factor in abnormal personality development (especially for unhealthy people) is the lack of social interest, and people with unhealthy lifestyles tend to set their goals too high and risky, and get lost in their private world. In some cases, physical or emotional deficiencies in an exaggerated form cause a feeling of hatred or mistrust in others, and it may cause long-term silence and remove a person's self-confidence. In these situations, the person either turns to silence due to fear of sudden events or attacks the other party (verbally or physically) in an explosive move. Such people try to keep their wrong feelings in order to protect their conscience. They try to belittle the achievements of others, try to comfort themselves by accusing others of being responsible for their failures, or try to hide their true feelings through physical movements. That means they cannot express their true feelings. Also, sometimes men and even women emphasize the desirability of masculinity too much, and to describe their personal traits and personality, they try to show themselves close to male traits. People's perception of how they fit into their family is related to their lifestyle. The first children in the family have a sense of power and superiority, and of course, they are too conservative and have more than their share of anxiety. Second, children are very social and enjoy being the center of attention. The last and youngest children are pampered and lack independence. All these characteristics are temporary and may change according to individual conditions. In order to create a safe space for people's minds and help them reach relative peace, the types of needs and ways to reach them can be challenged. These needs include:

• A person's relationship with the outside world to preserve his personality and individual identity and to have a spiritual order (consisting of submission and silence, power and superiority, and love)
• Personal excellence (consisting of destroying the character and spirit of people or creating psychological security and caring for other people)
• Being rooted in the connection with the outside world (consisting of finding roots and feeling calm)
• Having a sense of identity (consisting of being aware of one's personality and way of thinking, having the motivation to create a personal identity)
• Orientation framework for registering individual identity in the surrounding world (consisting of having a suitable individual program or philosophy).

Also, when a person reaches infinite freedom, he becomes more confused and isolated. This type of freedom causes anxiety and loneliness in a person. In order to escape from this feeling, he can feel dictatorial and authoritarian, and when necessary, unite with a powerful partner, start destroying the character of others, or surrender to the demands of others. Every person communicates with the outside world to form and direct their own personality through analyzing their relationship with others, and the level of this communication determines the level of their sociability. People who are ready to accept this communication and direction in this direction, come to the conclusion that the best way to communicate with the outside world is to receive a positive signal through love, knowledge, and material objects. People with exploitative tendencies also think that the source of goodness is outside of themselves. But instead of getting it calmly, they get it aggressively. That is, false and unreasonable emotions and stress are always with them to achieve results. People with hoarding disorder try to save their savings, such as their opinions, feelings, and material possessions. People who have a marketing orientation see themselves as commodities, and based on their skill in selling, they value themselves and their personality. They have fewer positive characteristics than other orientations, and they don't feel good about them. Mentally healthy people move toward positive freedom through constructive work, love, and reasoning. Mentally unhealthy people have irregular and dangerous ways of working, reasoning, and loving. Examples include a love of death and hatred of all humanity, malignant narcissism, the importance of everything that belongs to the individual, the worthlessness of everything that belongs to others, and extreme dependence on family members. To treat such problems, the personality of the person in question must first be examined, and then his behavioral habits, such as dependence, superiority, transcendence, rootedness, and sense of identity, must be placed on a specific path so that over time he becomes stable in character. Due to the conditions and sense of competition in society, there is a possibility of creating hostility and a feeling of isolation in individuals. These conditions create emotional illusions in humans, and to heal the feeling of loneliness, they use exaggerated expressions of interest and false respect. This behavior may arise from social conditions (present), childhood (past), and fear of reaching bad conditions in old age (future). The root of all hostility and insecurity is in childhood. All children need security, and they can only get it through parental love. But parents may ignore, reject, or overindulge in loving their children. An imbalance in parental behavior and emotions will create inappropriate conditions for children's security and emotions. If children suppress their initial feelings of hostility, it will create feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and fear in them. Behaviors such as kindness, calm speech, giving authority and power to the person, and ownership will reduce anxiety and fear. Normal people will be flexible with these behaviors, but unhealthy people may become strongly dependent on one of these behaviors and experience hallucinations. There are also people who, despite being aware of tensions and fears (the lack of harmony between feelings and reality), have no problem with their circumstances and avoid self-pity and arguing. That is, they accept the existing conditions without protest. If the situation becomes more acute and the person cannot solve his problems and return to normal conditions, then he will develop self-hatred and no longer love himself, because in reality he cannot defend his interests and will experience stress in confronting others. He loses what he considers his right because he is unable to speak his mind directly to the other person. Therefore, he either uses shouting as a means of self-defense or convinces himself that he must remain silent. The person may feel momentary peace at that moment, but after a while, he will analyze this issue for himself, and gradually he will experience turmoil and conditions such as relentless demands on himself, merciless self-accusation, self-contempt, self-frustration, or self-torture and self-destructive actions and impulses. Anxiety is an unpleasant state of internal turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behaviors such as pacing back and forth, physical problems, and mental fantasies. This is an unpleasant mental feeling of fear of something that is unlikely to happen (such as a feeling of impending death). Unlike fear, anxiety is not a realistic feeling of fear or danger but rather a feeling of worry and unease that becomes generalized after a few moments and becomes generalized as an overreaction to a situation that is only perceived as threatening in a subjective sense. Anxiety is often accompanied by restlessness, fatigue, concentration problems, and muscle tension.

The Influence of Each Person's Traits on Their Personality

The permanent traits and characteristics of personality which compel an individual to behave uniformly crossways different situations. People can be compared by measuring these traits. Of course, these traits are relatively permanent because they may change over time. Introversion or extroversion is a bipolar trait. Introverts are self-centered and have characteristics such as being idealistic, imaginative, shy, and withdrawn. They are often in states of thinking, dreaming, and daydreaming. These people spend a lot of time making decisions and are worried about the future. But extroverts are more inclined to social activities and have characteristics such as realism, talkativeness, and activity, and they also show more interest in leadership. Of course, very few people are completely extroverted or introverted, and most people have both introversion and extroversion characteristics simultaneously. The level of cortical arousal is what differentiates introverts and extroverts. Extroverts have a lower threshold for cortical arousal, and little stimulation is enough to activate them. Introverts, on the other hand, have very high cortical arousal and are not affected by stimulation from the external environment. Neuroticism is also a bipolar dimension, and neurotic people have specific characteristics and behavioral tendencies. They show a lack of emotional control and willpower with disruptions in their thought processes and actions (i.e., this trait will be shown by their slow thinking at certain moments). Even very small problems and mistakes of others will bother them. People with high neuroticism have high emotional sensitivity, high suggestibility, and low sociability. On the other hand, people with high stability are calm and do not get upset by conflicting issues. This means that they can keep themselves under control even in the most difficult situations. They can maintain their composure even in the worst situations and think about the problem in a balanced way to reach the right decision. Neurotic people have a more reactive autonomic nervous system and are vulnerable to environmental stimuli, and may also have disorders such as phobias, anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Psychotic people are characterized by a lack of concentration, poor memory, and a lack of sensitivity. They are more concerned with themselves than with others, and their behavior is cruel and emotional. They cannot protect themselves from danger and dangerous situations. In addition totemperament traits, there are also motivational traits such as attitudes (Attitude towards a particular action or tendency to act in response to a given situation), ergs (Innate motivations such as sex, hunger, loneliness, pity, fear, curiosity, pride, sentimentality, anger, etc.), and sems (Learned or acquired dynamic traits) in humans. A person's genetic traits also have a great influence on the stability of their personality, and these traits can be divided into two categories: fluid intelligence (the skill of adapting to new material) and crystallized intelligence (which depends on previous learning). Personality traits can be summarized under five headings: Openness to Experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (Table 1-1). These traits represent a range of different personality types, and a person may develop a personality disorder or bipolar personality (e.g., become more introverted or extroverted over short periods of time, respectively / Conscientiousness increases through adulthood to middle age / Adaptability increases with age. Neuroticism and Extraversion decrease with age, etc.).

Human Perspectives

Humanistic or phenomenological theories of personality offer a positive and optimistic view of human behavior. If a person is placed on the path of collective experiences, he will experience problems arising from unconscious collective motivations and conflicts, and if he is placed on the path of individual experiences, then he will experience a path that includes individual experiences, relationships, and ways of understanding the world. All humans need attention, approval, and love, and these needs are developed from childhood. Each person's feelings about themselves are determined by the reactions of others, and if a person feels that others are not satisfied with them, this feeling will also affect their own behavior and feelings. Of course, if a person's goal is only to please others, they may experience disruption in their own personality and behavior development. Self-actualization means experiencing a positive outlook on life, full of love and affection (without any conditions), and achieving an independent personality. Of course, all humans have the same capacity for self-actualization, but the conditions and ways to achieve it are different for each person. All humans desire to move towards the fulfillment and realization of their potential in life. Of course, there are special and unique circumstances for humans. Also, the feeling of self-actualization and the creation of personal identity begin in infancy. The creation of identity for each person includes two parts: internal identity (all the real characteristics of the individual's identity) and external identity (the person's ideal view of himself). After the formation of an individual identity, the person resists the changes made in his identity and tries to eliminate the gap created between his current identity and his ideal identity. If he succeeds in this, he will achieve his goal, but if he cannot do this, a level of psychopathology will be created in his mind and identity. This damage may cause many psychological problems for him over time. In terms of personal identity, people can be divided into three groups:

• People who lack self-confidence and give up easily, and are therefore ignored by others
• People who try to change themselves and their personal identity to attract the attention of others.
• People who have a fixed behavior and identity express their opinions freely and do not allow others to interfere.

To maintain their identity, humans must pay attention to two stages: maintenance (which includes nutrition, air, safety, and security) and enhancement (which includes completing and realizing existing potentials). When there is a conflict between a person's identity and the expectations of their audience, the person will feel vulnerable, threatened, defensive, and anxious. This causes the person's nervous system to malfunction, and they may develop psychosis. If a person lives a life that is different from their true nature and abilities, they will be less happy than those whose goals and lives are in line with them. That is, if that person has the inherent potential to become a great artist, teacher, or scientist but has to focus their energy on meeting basic human needs, then they may never discover their inherent talents. Self- actualization in each person means inner growth and creating a driving force to achieve the ideals of that person's mind, and if a person sometimes acts at a level lower than self- actualization, his or her personal growth may be hampered and he or she may go astray (i.e., it becomes easy for him or her to endure problems and give up trying to achieve a better life). Also, people who achieve self-actualization after a while prefer cultural problems to personal problems and try to first take steps to solve cultural problems, and solve personal problems at a later stage. This means that these people have reached psychological and intellectual maturity. Self-actualization of an individual has beautiful and stable characteristics:

• A person can judge situations correctly and honestly by using their understanding and thinking, and also show sensitivity to unreal issues, dual personalities, and liars. That is, they express reality freely and as it is.
• Acceptance of their own flaws, others, and nature. That is, in addition to expressing their opinions freely, they tolerate the problems and flaws of others.
• They are disciplined in carrying out daily tasks and solving problems, and are not afraid of resisting difficulties. That is, they do not become aggressive towards others because of their own problems and do not behave demandingly if they try to solve the problems of others.
• A person has a sense of autonomy and acts like a resourceful and independent person.
• A person has a fresh and stable spirit. That is, even if they are in the most difficult circumstances, they still appreciate the love of others and do not turn small inconveniences into serial depression.
• The person has deep human emotions and a strong sense of fellowship with others.
• The person is not afraid of loneliness, despite having satisfying relationships with others.
• The person has a balanced sense of humor (avoid mocking others).
• The person has a sense of security and is not anxious.

Of course, people may have the same circumstances but behave very differently. This proves that a person's attitude can have a great impact on their fate.

Eliminating the Notions Based on the Being Dumb of the Personality

A person with mental problems may come to the conclusion that he has a dumb and ambiguous personality and that no one can understand him and help him when he has mental and personality problems. But on the contrary, a person with a stable identity, along with internal growth, imagines a greater place for himself, and this improves his relationships with others. All humans need psychological counseling to bring their disturbed or calm mind to the desired conditions. If this internal growth and counseling are not done, the person will suffer from mental torment and pain. Therefore, the inner workings of the mind should be examined using the process of meditation and awareness of the mind in order to achieve mental and spiritual health. A person with mental problems has a strong dependence on his mental images and illusions and creates imaginary problems and enmities for every everyday issue and gives them wings and wings in his mind, and because these thoughts and judgments are always changing, he suffers from intellectual and personality obsessions. He suffers from personality fragmentation and has no stability in his personality, and may experience great anger and hatred towards others and his surroundings when he is very happy, or may behave naturally and happily when he is sad and upset. This type of behavior causes others to distance themselves from him and feel bad about him, while he considers his behavior appropriate and considers others to be superficial people. At this stage, his illness intensifies, and he becomes a dual personality. A person who achieves stability of character learns to live in harmony and with a plan. Not to be a passive observer but an active participant in personal and social life. Humans must be careful about three things (selfish desires, customs, false teachings, and superstition) and be careful of their minds to understand these three things correctly. Otherwise, they will suffer from many personality and spiritual problems. Every person can develop their inherent talents to achieve peace of mind and a better life, and strive to develop their personality (recognizing each person's inherent talents is a way of salvation for them). Also, being patient at this stage leads to achieving moderation in a person's behavior. There are many ways to use one's strengths and virtues to achieve a meaningful life. One of these ways is to participate in sports classes. Each person's strengths and discovering their talents are a good way to create a universal language and unity among people. People express their strengths in different ways, depending on the circumstances they find themselves in. The best test for understanding the personality and balance in each person's inner psyche is their level of satisfaction with life.

Chapter 2: Examining Children's Aggressive Behaviors

What is Aggression?

Aggression is a negative, tense, and offensive behavior that is carried out by a person against others. This behavior is carried out due to an internal feeling of fear when losing a certain situation and due to an imbalance in power. Aggressive people are opportunists, and their goal is to abuse the situation. They show this reaction to show their protest, and even if they are not right, they use this method to achieve their goal. This behavior may be carried out in a specific period of time, but over time, it will become a habit in the aggressive person. This behavior is possible from elementary school (ages 7 and up). The first problem caused by anxiety (in a social environment) occurs for every person from elementary school to high school. That is, an aggressive person may be forced to drop out of school due to intolerance of his educational environment, and this behavior may become a daily habit for him, and he may avoid going to certain places, attending social gatherings, and family events. Then, he may not even be able to tolerate being at home and his family and run away from home. At this stage of life, a person experiences turmoil and confusion in his personality, and others can easily take advantage of him because the person makes spur-of-the-moment decisions and loses the ability to control his life. One of the biggest reasons for this type of aggression in children and adolescents is having certain illnesses or physical disabilities. The best solution to solve this problem is to establish counseling centers to educate the families of these children so that they can perform their best in controlling behavior and giving self-confidence to their children. The school can also motivate these children to participate in classes by providing facilities and creating a safe environment for them. There is also no need to separate aggressive children from other children. They should be in the company of others so that they do not become isolated and depressed. Some depressions are hidden, and although the person has a smile on his face and a normal appearance, he has a disturbed mind and a heart full of resentment, and may make wrong decisions in the moment and harm others. Therefore, the presence of these children in the company is necessary; only a caregiver (such as teachers) should be with them and control their behavior from a distance. This care should be reduced over time so that its presence does not cause confusion in the child's mind. Not all aggressive children can be treated, but this type of behavior can be cured in most of these children and will eliminate the root of many crimes and misdeeds in the future.

Analysis of Types of Aggression

Aggression is divided into two types: direct and indirect. Direct aggression can be verbal or physical in nature, and indirect aggression includes behaviors such as taunting, teasing, name-calling, and spreading rumors. Boys are more likely to use physical violence (direct aggression), but girls are more likely to use verbal violence (indirect aggression). Direct aggression includes behaviors such as hitting, kicking, pushing, choking, and destroying property or stealing, and indirect aggression includes behaviors such as threatening, making obscene gestures, excluding others from the group, and manipulating friendships. Another common type of aggression is gender-based aggression (often perpetrated by men). That is, a person tries to humiliate the other person by denigrating their gender. Also, people who do not come to the aid of an aggressive person when they are in trouble or threatened also cause harm to them. Because an aggressive person does not receive any support from the community, he feels lonely and, over time, avoids the company of others. It is even possible that children and adolescents who are victims of aggression and threats will live in an environment full of stress and anxiety. If they are not supported by family and friends, they will suffer from personality confusion and may become a dual-personality person. The newest type of aggression is in cyberspace (the Internet environment). There are many false and biased materials in cyberspace, and if children and adolescents have access to them without any restrictions, they may become victims of violence or their thoughts may be directed in the wrong direction. Also, playing unconventional music in kindergartens and elementary schools is extremely harmful to the child's mind and may take the child's mind away from the educational environment. School is an environment for educating a child; neither aggressive behavior nor creating unlimited freedom for the child is appropriate. He should be taught scientific education and discipline, and should be prevented from teaching things that are not within his age range (After reaching the age of maturity, every child can decide whether to listen to music or not, whether to use cyberspace or not, what career to choose for himself, etc.). Aggressive people have no empathy or concern for others and also have a strong desire to dominate their peers. These people are hot-tempered, easily angered, and choose their victims from among the quiet and weaker people. Aggressive people feel opposition, hatred towards adults and people stronger than themselves, and are ready to hurt them at the right opportunity. Aggressive people do not have a proper understanding of the behavior of others and consider all the words of the other person as a kind of irony or insult to themselves (Because of their disturbed thoughts and minds, they often do not have the ability to analyze the behavior and words of others and suffer from misunderstandings). Therefore, one must be extremely careful in the way they treat them, because in this way, they can be helped and their sense of hatred can be reduced, and their trust in themselves can be gained. One of the reasons why an aggressive person chooses a victim is the difference (type of behavior, thinking, clothing, and weakness in social skills) of the victim from others. One of the most important reasons that causes aggression in a child is not having friends. Feeling lonely and isolated in friendly groups will create a sense of insecurity, fear, and hatred towards others. Continuing this feeling may lead to severe depression and even suicide, so children should be helped psychologically and mentally so that they can participate in friendly groups (at school and in the family). Isolated and reclusive children may be ridiculed and humiliated by their classmates and friends because of their different behavior. Therefore, the family should pay attention to their special behaviors from an early age and help them solve these types of problems. If the main culprit of the children's behavior is their family (violent fathers and violent or overly conservative mothers), then school officials are obliged to help these children by using expert counselors and maintain their psychological and mental security. There are many reasons for a child's aggression that can be traced by examining the child's behavior (Table 2-1). Also, a feeling of insecurity causes the child to lack focus in learning, and a sense of anxiety and danger always accompanies him.

Table 2-1. Types of Aggressive People.

Emotional development occurs uniquely for each adolescent, and different patterns emerge for different groups of adolescents. Boys and girls can differ in the challenges they face in their emotional development. Adolescents need adults who can help them deal positively with any prejudice they encounter in their lives, teach them to be proud of their identity, and model positive self-esteem. As girls enter adolescence, their sense of self-esteem declines somewhat, and boys tend to have higher self-esteem than girls. Because of the differences in how boys and girls are socialized in society, they may need different ways to seek help from professionals to promote identity formation and address their specific needs. For example, some teenage girls may need help learning to be more assertive or express anger, and teenage boys may need to be encouraged to have collaborative, rather than competitive, relationships with other men, and helped to understand that having and expressing feelings is not a bad thing.

Social Development of Adolescents

Adolescent social development should be considered in areas such as peer relationships, family, school, workplace, and community. One of the most obvious changes during adolescence is that the focus of an adolescent's world shifts from the family to the peer group. Of course, this decrease in family contact does not mean that closeness to the family has become less important for the adolescent. Closeness and attachment to the family are the most important factors associated with not smoking, not drinking alcohol, reducing suicide attempts, etc., among adolescents. To develop greater independence from parents, adolescents must lean more towards their peers than in the early stages of development. This new focus on peers is a new, important, and healthy stage in their child's development. Peer groups serve important functions during adolescence and provide a temporary reference point for a growing sense of identity. Adolescents develop judgment and moral values through identification with peers. Of course, some teenagers may secretly try to find ways to identify with their parents. Another important function of peer groups is to provide adolescents with a source of information about the world outside the family and about themselves. Peer groups also act as powerful reinforcers during adolescence as sources of popularity, status, prestige, and acceptance. Being accepted by peers has important consequences for adjustment, both in adolescence and adulthood. Positive peer relationships during adolescence are associated with positive psychosocial adjustment. Those who are accepted by their peers and have reciprocal friendships have a better self-image and perform better in school during adolescence. On the other hand, social isolation among adolescents who are rejected by their peers is associated with a variety of negative behaviors, such as delinquency. Adults who have had interpersonal problems during adolescence are also at much greater risk for psychosocial problems in adulthood. The nature of adolescents’ relationships with peer groups changes during adolescence. During this time, peer group relationships are usually at their most intense, with conformity and concerns about acceptance at their peak. Expectations and anxiety about how their peers will view them can be overwhelming for adolescents. A strong desire to belong to a particular group can be overwhelming for adolescents, and this can be a challenge for them. Teens need adults who can help them resist peer pressure and find alternative groups that are interesting enough to join if the group the teen is seeking to join is undesirable (or even dangerous). Every teen is different in the number of friends they have and how they spend time with their peers. Introverted teens have fewer but closer friendships. Boys and girls also differ in the types of activities they engage in with their friends. In general, boys tend to engage in more hands-on activities, while girls spend more time talking to each other. However, both girls and boys value the same qualities in a friend (such as loyalty, openness, and trustworthiness). Having a friend requires that one has the social skills necessary to make and keep that friend. For most teens, the basics of these skills are in place, and peer groups and friendships allow them to further develop these skills. However, for a small group of teens, this is not the case. These teens may be ostracized by their peers, which can have serious negative effects such as delinquency, substance abuse, dropping out of school, and aggression. For teens who lack social skills, adults who informally mentor them in appropriate skill areas can be a lifesaver. Discussing how to initiate conversations with peers, give genuine praise, be a good listener, share private information appropriately, and maintain self-confidence can be very effective in increasing social skills. However, young people who lack social skills but do not exhibit behavioral problems need just as much help as young people who behave in antisocial ways, such as fighting or having problems at school. They may not make as much of a splash in society as these young people, but they are still at risk for long-term problems if their problems are not addressed during adolescence. Whether divorce has a negative impact on teenagers depends on a variety of factors, not just the divorce itself. Although teenagers from divorced families tend to have more adjustment problems than teenagers from intact families, most teenagers cope well with their parents' divorce. The factors that seem to have the greatest impact on coping include whether parents can parent together after the divorce and whether the financial difficulties that often follow divorce and lead to other stressors, such as having to move, can be minimized. Parents often ask experts how they should change their parenting practices as their children get older. Parents who are close and involved, provide firm guidelines and limits, have developmentally appropriate expectations, and encourage the teenager to develop their own beliefs tend to be more effective. These parents typically use reasoning and persuasion, explain rules, discuss issues, and listen respectfully. Adolescents who grow up in families with this parenting style are more successful in school, have lower rates of depression and anxiety, score higher on measures of self-confidence and self-esteem, and are less likely to engage in delinquent behavior and substance abuse. However, the level of parental supervision and monitoring necessary to promote healthy adolescent development can vary depending on the characteristics of the adolescent's peers and neighborhood environments. For example, setting stricter limits may actually be desirable for adolescents who live in communities with low levels of adult supervision, high levels of risk, and higher levels of problematic behavior among peers, such as some high-crime and inner-city neighborhoods. During adolescence, conflict between parents and adolescents increases, especially between adolescent girls and their mothers, and this conflict is a necessary part of gaining independence from parents while learning new ways to maintain relationships with them. Girls struggle to find new ways to connect with their mothers and may even appear clumsy and withdrawn in their search for new ways to connect. Understandably, mothers may withdraw, starting a cycle of mutual distancing that is sometimes difficult to break. Parents need to understand that their child's clumsiness is not permanent and that teens need their help to shape a new way of communicating that is satisfactory to everyone. Parent-teen conflict usually peaks with younger children. There are two types of conflict that typically occur: spontaneous conflict over everyday issues, such as what the teen is allowed to buy or wear or whether or not they have done their homework, and conflict over important issues, such as academic performance. Spontaneous conflict that occurs on a daily basis is more distressing to parents than to teens. Parents often attach more meaning to conflict-filled interactions, interpreting them as a rejection of their own values or as an indicator of their own failures as parents. On the other hand, teens may view the interaction as much less important (just another way to show off their parenting style or simply a way to vent their emotions). Professionals can help parents understand that minor conflicts or arguments are normal and that these exchanges do not mean that they are not being skilled or effective parents. For most adolescents, school is a prominent part of their lives. They connect with their peers and develop relationships with them. For some adolescents, school is also a source of security and stability. Some of the same characteristics that characterize successful adolescent families (such as a strong sense of attachment, belonging, and a sense of being cared for) also characterize adolescents’ positive relationships with their teachers and schools. Because schools are such a critical environment for adolescents, even for professionals working in other settings, connecting with an at-risk adolescent’s school psychologist, counselor, or social worker can be important to establish a caring support system. The transition from elementary to middle or high school can present challenges for both academic performance and mental health. Declining academic performance is common after the transition from middle to high school, a transition that can be very disruptive for some adolescents. For some, this marks the beginning of the process of disengagement from school. Although the transition to high school is not as dramatic, some students continue to disengage during this phase. Professionals should be aware of the difficulties that adolescents can have in the transition to school and be prepared to provide additional support and guidance during these periods. Having a college degree is crucial for economic success. Of course, college is only one option for teens after high school, and career and technical education are other important choices to consider. Attention should be paid to connecting students to community career education during high school and preparing them for post-high school career education. Otherwise, they are likely to be drawn to careers that initially seem high-paying given the youth’s limited experience. While the ease of access to these careers can make them very attractive, in the long run, they are unlikely to provide the resources needed to live independently as young adults and even support their families. The large number of students and the small number of guidance counselors in many schools virtually guarantee that many students will struggle with career planning. Therefore, regardless of the individual’s professional role, it is beneficial to inquire about and encourage teens to pursue higher education and career education. Many teens have part-time jobs during high school. These jobs can help young people learn many important lessons (such as how the business world works, how to get and keep a job, how to manage time and money, and how to set goals and take pride in their achievements). Of course, the number of hours a teen works is crucial in determining whether these positive benefits are outweighed by the negative ones. Teens who work 20 or more hours a week during the school year are at higher risk for a variety of negative outcomes, including work-related injuries, lower academic achievement, substance abuse, and insufficient sleep. These teens are more emotionally distressed, get poorer grades, are more likely to smoke, and are more likely to engage in other risky behaviors, such as alcohol and drug use. Adults who work with teenagers should warn them to reduce their work hours to less than 20 hours per week during the school year, if possible, knowing that for some teenagers, working is an economic necessity. The characteristics of the community in which an adolescent lives will have a profound impact on his or her development. Some communities are rich in resources that provide adolescents with support and opportunities, while others are lacking. Community characteristics such as socioeconomic status and neighborhood stability (i.e., the degree to which individuals tend to remain in that community or location over a period of time) will significantly influence adolescent development. Grassroots efforts to strengthen support networks for parents and children in fragile and low-socioeconomic communities are important. However, without other changes, these measures are unlikely to make much difference. Employment opportunities for youth, affordable and accessible health care, community policing, housing rehabilitation, and other resources that provide stability and security are also needed. Professionals who participate in their communities as board members of community organizations or school boards and other public policy agencies should know which programs have been evaluated and found to be effective in promoting healthy adolescent development. Media is an important part of adolescent society, and adolescents will be exposed to some form of media for a certain amount of time each day. Although media will have an increasing impact on adolescent development, the ultimate impact will depend on how well it takes advantage of the positive opportunities and minimizes the negative ones. For example, on the one hand, television and movies can have negative effects due to their depiction of violence and unhealthy sexuality, and the lack of positive role models. On the other hand, they can also serve as a model for education and provide adolescents with valuable information on issues such as how to deal with sexual abuse, substance abuse, nutrition, violence prevention, and mental health concerns.

Social Behavior of Adolescents

All the ways in which adolescents develop (cognitively, physically, socially, and emotionally) prepare them to experiment with new behaviors as they transition from childhood to adulthood.

This experimentation, in turn, helps them fine-tune their development in these other areas. Risk-taking in adolescence is an important way in which adolescents form their identities, test out new decision-making skills, and develop realistic assessments of themselves, others, and the world. Such exploratory behaviors are normal during adolescence, and adolescents need space to experiment and experience the outcomes of their decision-making in different situations. However, young people sometimes overestimate their own capacities to handle new situations, and these behaviors can pose real threats to their health. To gain peer approval or avoid peer rejection, adolescents sometimes take risks that even they themselves consider too risky. While it is important to focus on the positive aspects of adolescence, awareness of adolescent health-risk behaviors is also vital for those who wish to help prevent and correct these behaviors. There are many reasons why adolescents engage in risky behavior. They may need excitement, fun, and intense emotions, engage in risky group behavior to fit into a certain peer group, and engage in risky behavior to emulate their parents and other adults. Risk-taking is natural during adolescence, and the key is to provide guidance in decision-making and encourage the teen to direct the positive, developmental aspects of this energy toward less risky, more productive activities. Initially, adults should be comfortable talking to teens about making decisions in these relatively sensitive areas (falling in love, drugs, alcohol, and other safety concerns). The goal is to help the teen weigh the risks and benefits of a particular situation, consider their strengths and weaknesses that may influence the decision, and then make the best possible decision. This requires awareness of the risks of a particular behavior and the ability to listen and respond to the teen without bias. The fact that a teen is discussing these issues with an adult is a positive sign. Over time, most teens gradually learn to assess risks realistically and modify their behavior accordingly. Next, adults should be attuned to positive paths that young people might take (volunteering at a local youth center, starting a sport, participating in a school play, learning to play a musical instrument, etc). Of course, risk-taking doesn’t have to be dramatic. Going beyond one’s previous capacities is risk-taking, and it can satisfy many teens’ need for risk-taking. So they should be encouraged to do so (a teen who is talented in the arts may need encouragement to try a new medium; a shy teen who is good at languages may need encouragement to use her skills in the community). It takes time to discover a teen’s talents or interests and then challenge that teen to channel her energies toward taking risks in positive ways. Risky behavior in some adolescents may threaten their health in the short and long term. Adolescents who are at greater risk for serious negative outcomes tend to engage in multiple problematic behaviors at an early age, such as drug use and unprotected sex, and also have poor school performance and low self-esteem. Dropping out of school can be one of the most detrimental actions that teenagers can take, with potentially disastrous effects on their economic future. For most teenagers who engage in aggressive behavior, their behavior reflects a gap between their biological and social maturity. Schools that give students a sense of shared responsibility and belonging, have high expectations for participation, and provide high levels of individual support for students. That is, they increase resilience. A positive, principled parenting style that sets clear limits and respects adolescents’ growing autonomy is also associated with resilience in adolescents. Resilience is a function of developmental experiences that are rooted in the context of society. Whether a society is able to provide the relationships, resources, and commitment necessary to provide the kinds of supports and developmental experiences that foster resilient adolescents depends on many factors, but the key is whether adolescents’ needs are prioritized.

Chapter 5: Emotional Resilience and Self-Reliance

Health and Success for Yourself and Your Family

Emotional self-confidence is the desired outcome of growth and development that enables a person to achieve success, get along with people, find satisfaction in life, and generally enjoy great health and happiness. This means the ability to manage one’s emotions to limit negative events and fully enjoy positive ones. Healthy emotional development involves feeling free to experience healthy emotions without undue distress and knowing that you have a choice about what you feel or how strongly you feel them. This is usually the result of a healthy combination of nature and nurture. Under optimal conditions, it develops gradually over several ages and stages. Because it involves a strong combination of learning and maturation, this form of development is often highly vulnerable to risk factors, which may be both what one inherits and what one finds and experiences (or fails to find or experience) in one’s environment. Each person’s environment includes other people and experiences with the natural world.

Therefore, emotional self-efficacy develops in the context of human relationships and other personal and non-relational experiences. For this reason, it is necessary to define two parts of emotional self-efficacy (personal characteristics and emotional characteristics):

• A description of the characteristics and qualities of an individual that are shown in his mental and emotional response to environmental conditions (response to difficulty, honesty, reaction to stress, emotional intelligence, etc.).
• A description of the emotional characteristics that are shown in relationships with other people (confidence, anxiety, empathy, etc.).

In many cases, the role that emotions play in our lives is confusing. Sometimes they add color to the paintings of our lives. Sometimes they are troublesome. Often, emotions affect us when we don’t want them to and frustrate us when we do. Because they can seem a bit confusing, most of us develop strategies to cope with them, and these strategies include an interesting variety. For example, many people try to manage anxiety by creating specific, rigid routines and following them daily. Others panic when they are anxious and try to keep themselves busy and engaged until the emotions subside. People who feel lost and hopeless when they are depressed call people and talk to them or do something fun. Others think of death simply to get rid of the problem. Young lovers are excited when the first feelings of love bloom, but they may feel afraid and worry that the initial feelings will fade. When they don't feel the way they want, they set up routines to maintain or restore their feelings. Emotional development is essential in the lives of adolescents, and of course, many of the problems that affect them are related to emotions. That is, there are either too many wrong emotions or not enough right emotions. Depression affects adolescents, weakens them, and prevents them from creating a healthy life for themselves. Growth and maturation mean that something changes over time, and these changes can move towards a positive end or they can be delayed. The stages of emotional development and maturation are as follows:

• Learning more about them and how they affect a person
• How a person is responsible for them and uses them wisely
• How to express positive emotions with greater variety and utility
• How to understand negative emotions and regulate their experience, and how to express them
• How to create more mental capacity for positive emotions so that their experience is more intense, longer, and more useful.

These steps will foster emotional resilience and emotional self-reliance (Table 1-5).

Table 5-1. Characteristics of Emotions.

Many highly valued emotions (such as loving and being loved, happiness, hope, optimism, self-confidence, peace, security, empathy, compassion, gratitude, tolerance, and acceptance of others, etc.) will only exist in a person's life if they are learned.

Emotional Self-Reliance

Each culture has its own definition of emotional self-reliance. The set of characteristics that lead to human success, along with each person's observations and experiences, will be expressed as a complete definition of emotional self-reliance. These characteristics can be interpreted as follows:

• Knowing How to Live Successfully: Most people face decisions in life that are part of a basic plan or method for living successfully. These decisions also include how to create and follow success strategies that guide how to prepare for workplace competence, how to succeed financially, how to create social success, how to build positive relationships with others, how to endure adverse circumstances, how to resolve family problems, how to decide on and live by moral values, how to be a good neighbor, and how to be a positive and contributing member of society.
• Experiencing More Positive Emotions than Negative Emotions: Emotions come in both positive (such as love, joy, peace, and happiness) and negative (such as anxiety, anger, revenge, and resentment) forms. Emotional self-efficacy exists when individuals feel or experience more positive emotions than negative emotions, learn how to generate positive emotions for themselves, and gradually improve their abilities to express them clearly and accurately to others.
• Developing a Sense of Self-Control Over Feelings and Thoughts: When responding to some environmental pressure or reacting to another person's actions, emotional self-reliance exists when at least a degree of autonomy (a sense of free choice) exists before the individual reacts or responds to another person's behavior or perception. For example, when faced with disappointment, stress, or frustration, people with emotional self-reliance recognize that they can choose how to think, feel, and respond positively to the situation, rather than feeling reactive and completely controlled by the situation or another person.
• Developing Positive Emotions and Regulating Negative Emotions During Distress: Emotional self-reliance is demonstrated by the ability to overcome difficulties and persevere during periods of emotional distress by regulating negative emotions and developing optimism, identifying learning options, and developing a hopeful, long-term perspective on any situation (rather than feeling helpless and trapped in the current situation).
• Demonstrating Social Confidence and Adaptability: Emotional self-reliance is demonstrated as social confidence, which means being comfortable with a variety of social situations. It is also demonstrated by interpersonal competence, which promotes success in relationships with other people. It is also evident in the ability to learn and successfully adapt emotional displays and language for several different social situations.
• Resilience: Emotional self-reliance is demonstrated by resilience (returning to the original state) in the face of failure, loss, or tragedy.
• Initiating, Persevering, and Completing Work: Emotional self-reliance is present when individuals demonstrate the ability to initiate work, persevere in work, and complete the tasks that are part of the job.
• Demonstrating Forgiveness, Tolerance, Honesty, Compassion, and Empathy: The results of successful development are expressed in several forms of social behavior and ethical conduct, such as honesty and integrity. Successful development is also demonstrated when individuals can demonstrate forgiveness, sacrifice, service, love, tolerance without prejudice, acceptance of others, empathy, and compassion.
• Having a Large Network of Friends and Acquaintances and a Sense of Belonging: Emotionally mature individuals typically develop and maintain a variety of acquaintances and friendships. Although they may sometimes prefer to be alone, they usually enjoy and value meeting people, talking to people, and learning from people. This provides a sense of belonging, security, and safety, and also leads to the ability to form and maintain close emotional relationships.
• Feeling and Expressing Gratitude Frequently: Self-reliant people appreciate the contributions of others and the kindnesses and blessings they have received. When they have and express these feelings, the brain's neurotransmitters (dopamine) are produced, which elevates mood and creates greater happiness and satisfaction.
• Making and Keeping Promises: Self-reliant people have a strong sense of honor when it comes to making and keeping promises. They are less impulsive about decisions, although they can be impulsive, but once they make a promise, they organize their lives to follow through or honor it.
• Delaying Gratification: Self-reliant people (emotionally) do not give up what they want most for what they want right now. They can delay gratification in order to achieve their goals (i.e., they prefer long-term, meaningful goals to short-term, unproductive goals). They can limit impulsivity to achieve what is better for themselves and others than making an impulsive choice.

Creating Emotional Connections and Comfort for Children by Families

Families can use the following factors to create and maintain healthy emotional connections and communication:

• Learning about emotions and the role of emotions in family life (when family members feel and understand their own and others' emotions, they communicate better, which leads to more successful relationships)
• Accurately assessing children's emotional expressions and using them when communicating with them
• Emotionally supporting children when expressing expectations for their performance
• Creating a sense of comfort when children are distressed
• Seeking and understanding children's feelings when making decisions about them
• Emphasizing children's ability to adapt to and express their emotions (people who are better at successfully adapting to different types of social situations tend to be more confident and successful in their relationships)
• Empathizing with children and being aware of children's emotions (helping children find labels that match their feelings)
• Teaching children family stories and helping them be resilient (ensuring that all family members are aware of their family stories (as a family learning experience) will promote children's emotional well-being).
• Frequent teaching and communication about positive and negative emotions, as well as talking about emotions and explaining when and how to show certain emotions and when not to show them
• Teaching emotional standards of family membership (identifying several emotional standards for family members and voluntarily demonstrating membership through honest communication, love, loyalty, cooperation, and kindness
• Expressing anger in moderation, controlling anger expression (to prevent fear and separation of individuals), and communicating effectively through calm conversation
• Creating joint projects and mentoring (working together on family projects can teach cooperation and create a sense of unity and belonging)

In order to implement effective action plans, families must follow the following perspectives:

• They must understand how emotional self-confidence develops and teach its principles.
• They must become familiar with emotional self-confidence and be aware of what it looks like in adulthood, how to promote it, what the signs of its lack are, and what may prevent it.
• They must develop a family plan to promote emotional self-confidence and provide the necessary leadership to strengthen children and prevent potential problems.
• They must differentiate their children as unique individuals (identifying children who have inherited a high level of brain reactivity and children who do not) and develop a plan for each of them.
• They must understand family and child development and prepare children for future success. That is, have a plan to promote development that is tailored to each child and do their best to provide an emotional environment.
• They must create an atmosphere of safety and make sure that children feel loved. That is, they must help each child learn to be an effective and useful member of the family and ensure that each family member feels loved because the parents express and demonstrate this.
• They should use positive discipline and reduce anger and frustration. That is, they should promote a positive approach to managing children so that they feel empowered and avoid overreacting to what children do or say.
• They should adapt their disciplinary approach to the development of children. That is, as children mature, they should change their family's disciplinary approach from rule-based and consequence-based and place more emphasis on their relationship with their children.
• They should gradually create independent decision-making. That is, accompany their children in a developmental decision-making process. Make the initial decisions for them and then go to the point where they make decisions with them. After that, they can ask them to make their own decisions so that, over time they can achieve intellectual independence.
• They should understand the personal myths and imaginary audiences that young people create about themselves, which are often not based on reality.
• They should teach moral behavior. That is, teach them that moral behavior helps someone and that what is not moral harms someone. Also, instead of ignoring children's bad behavior or thinking that imposing some consequences will be enough, they should make corrections to help the child to their own feelings and the feelings of others. Children can learn to organize their lives to stand up for what is right and resist pressure to do something that harms themselves or others.
• They should teach healthy social skills, belonging, participation, and other social skills. That is, they should help children learn to include others, meet and greet people, compliment them, ask questions, and listen, adapt their emotional behavior appropriately from one situation to another, and express their opinions in social situations.

Chapter 6: Stress

What is Stress?

Stress is a sudden feeling that occurs

When a person is under pressure. It is a completely natural reaction that all humans experience from time to time. This reaction occurs when the body feels threatened and is carried out in two ways: fight or flight. This is not dangerous, and even a certain amount of stress can be very useful and motivating. If stress is too much for a long time, it can be harmful to a person's health. In slang, stress can be expressed as follows:

• I never finish anything before moving on to the next task.
• I always forget where I am, I have several tasks going on at the same time, and I never get anywhere with any of them.
• I always want to take some time for myself, but I never succeed.
• Someone is always asking me to help, and I never have the courage to say no, but I end up feeling very tired and irritable.
• It seems like crises are happening one after another in my life. I have constant headaches and stomach problems. I keep expecting something else to happen because I've reached the end of the line.
• It's really hard for me to relax, and my mind is always racing; I can't stop worrying.

Stress symptoms vary from person to person. Physical symptoms are linked to an ancient survival strategy called the fight-or-flight response. This response releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline into the body, preparing the person to fight or flee. Of course, the everyday pressures of today's society don't end with these responses. That means you can't run away from or fight against debt, deadlines, or stressful life events. Many people become very concerned when they experience these symptoms, thinking that they may be signs of a serious physical or mental health problem (Table 6-1).

Table 6-1. Stages of the Impact of Stress.

What causes stress varies from person to person and throughout our lives. Stress can have many sources. Sometimes it can be one or two major life events or changes, and sometimes it can be a series of smaller things. In addition to what happens to us and those around us (external stressors such as bereavement, debt, work stress), our stress levels are also influenced by what happens inside us (internal stressors such as frustration, anger, rushing, avoidance, irritability). Although you can't always control the external stresses in your life, you can break the vicious cycle of more stress by better understanding stress and changing your response to it. Examining the external stresses in your life can help you identify the source of your feelings of stress. Stress can't always be avoided, but learning more about stress can help you identify the causes of stress and reduce its impact. You can start a stress diary and write down:

• What causes stress?
• Where, what, and who causes stress?
• Identify stress triggers
• How you feel, think, and act daily

These are important first steps in making some changes.

Managing Stress in the Body

Since the stress response is largely physical, the human body is one of the first things to be affected. There are many solutions that can be used to manage stress in the body. Controlled breathing, deep muscle relaxation, conscious breathing, and relaxing activities can help reduce tension and quell some of the physical symptoms of stress. Therefore, these steps should be considered:

• Controlled Breathing: To begin, you should choose a time of day when you feel most relaxed. You can do this exercise sitting or standing with your eyes open or closed. You should focus on your breathing for a few minutes, breathing in slowly and calmly through your nose and out through your lips. Then place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. So the hand moves first on your stomach and then on your chest. That is, with each breath, the person's lungs fill and empty. Controlled breathing can be used anytime, anywhere to turn off the body's stress response.
• Deep Muscle Relaxation: You should start by sitting or lying down in a warm and comfortable place. This relaxation exercise familiarizes the person with the different muscle groups in the body and teaches them to first contract and then relax them. You should not tighten your muscles too much, and it should not be uncomfortable or painful. Each time you relax a group of muscles, you should pay attention to the feeling that arises when you relax. You should not try to relax too much, but just release the tension and allow the muscles to relax as much as possible. Then you can feel the difference between a tight state compared to a relaxed state.
• Mindful Breathing: Mindful breathing is a different approach to stress management, and it aims to be calm and non-judgmental, allowing thoughts and feelings to come and go without getting caught up in them. This means focusing only on the present moment, not the past or the future. A lot of stress is related to thoughts and feelings about the past and future, so just being here and now can be very helpful. It’s okay if thoughts come to mind, because that’s exactly what the mind does. But you don’t have to focus on them every moment. You shouldn’t judge yourself or analyze them for having them. Then you can start to be mindful in everyday situations, bringing your full focus of attention to whatever you are doing.
• Relaxing Activities: These activities include three categories: exercise, entertainment, and self-care (Table 6-2).

Table 6-2. Relaxing Activities.